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虽然语句朴实但还是感觉过于突出人物的自身喜好.只是个人观点请见量!个人感觉后半段来的太早应再转折一下

如:后一段加上对更崇高的理想所包容就会从多方面体现一个完美军人的更多内涵"班驳的头盔已经不被战友关注,呼啸的子弹已不再让我胆寒.战友的倒下使我重新认识生命的价值,是你让我变得如此勇敢,如果可以我愿意用生命为你托起一片蓝天.

是在RIM的基础上突发感想见笑了!呵呵

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